Tory Leadership contender, Michael Gove, with a bank note and cocaine around his nose.

Tory Leadership contender, Michael Gove, with a bank note and cocaine around his nose.

By Chris Bovey

Recreational drug consumption of leadership contenders to be the next unelected Prime Minister of Britain and leader of the UK Conservative Party has been dominating the news.

The odious Michael Gove has been forced to admit the fact he was a cokehead in his younger years, but reckons that doesn’t stop him from being eligible to be Prime Minister.

I actually agree with him, private recreational drug consumption should not prevent someone from entering politics and climbing to the top. The fact Gove is a repulsive Pharisee is what should prevent him being Prime Minister.

Cutting up lines of cocaine with a razor blade.

An ex-cokehead can run the Department of Education, but not be employed as a teacher.

When Gove was in charge of the Ministry of Education he passed a new code of conduct that included a disqualification for teachers convicted of possessing Class A drugs, such as the very same cocaine that he used to have a penchant for hoovering up his hooter.

So, snorting the old Peruvian Marching Powder on multiple occasions makes you fine to run the entire education system, but unfit to teach.

Tory hypocrisy

Gove isn’t the only Tory hypocrite who preaches to the crowd their support for the failed policies of prohibition, even though they’ve partaken in recreational drug usage themselves.

Another contender for the Tory leadership, that monstrous old hag who frightens the young in the gardens of Eaton Square, Andrea Leadsom, has admitted she smoked weed at university, as most students did.

Other Conservative Party leadership contenders Dominic Raab, Matt Hancock and Jeremy Hunt have also confessed to smoking pot. I expect more to be outed soon.

While I’m happy these people have enjoyed consuming drugs, they are also demanding that the rest of the population is criminalised for doing so. In the case of cannabis, many are self-medicating for illnesses that cannot be treated another way; this is rank hypocrisy.

Tories block Lib Dem bid to legalise cannabis

Last year the Tories blocked an attempt by the Liberal Democrats to legalise cannabis in the UK, even though this has already been done in Uruguay, Canada, much of the USA and soon Luxemburg and likely New Zealand. Many countries have also decriminalised possession of small amounts, but in the UK, cannabis has been raised from a Class C drug to a Class B drug, against the advice of the government’s own scientific experts.

Drug taking amongst Tories is not uncommon. Boris Johnson has admitted to both marijuana and cocaine usage in the past, but he seems to be able to get away with anything. Telling lies about an extra £350 million a week for the NHS to dupe people into voting for Brexit makes the obese mendacious slug’s recreational drug usage pale into insignificance.

Former Chancellor, George Osborn’s cocaine usage is one of the worst kept secrets in politics. He even turned up at Prime Ministers Questions once looking like he was experiencing a comedown from hell.

Dodgy Dave the pig fucker used to be in favour of drug law reform before he became the leader of the Conservative Party and Prime Minister. In his teens, he was suspended from Eton for smoking pot and when asked if he’d ever taken cocaine, his response was that “everyone was entitled to a private life”, which is politician-speak for “of course I fucking did”.

Sadly, Cameron made no effort to modernise drug laws in the UK when he was in power. In fact, his Home Secretary, Theresa May, tried to alter a Home Office report on drugs, because she didn’t like the findings. Then there was the Tory Psychoactive Substances Act that sought to ban everything from harmless mildly psychoactive plants to drugs that haven’t even been invented yet.

Gove’s been all over the media today saying he’s fortunate he didn’t go to prison for his drug use. I agree wholeheartedly; nobody deserves to go to prison for their drug use. Gove and the rest of the Tory bastards deserve to go to prison for the 120,000 deaths linked to their hated austerity measures.

The ugly goggle-eyed twat is a hypocrite for hosting drug-fuelled parties after slamming drug users in the Times newspaper. His previous cocaine usage should not be an obstacle for him being the Prime Minister. He’s not fit to be PM due to the fact he’s a hypocritical lying Tartuffe who deserves to have a cricket bat shoved up his arse and finished off with Ann Widdecombe roaming all over him naked.

Tories on drugs

In truth, I’m a huge advocate of Conservatives taking cocaine, as it’s a mildly dangerous and potentially fatal drug.

That bald prick, Sajid Javid, the populist Tory Home Secretary has been lecturing us on how drug consumption aids organised crime and people should think of the impact drug production has on the world. Mr Javid is one of the few people in the country with the power to end the miseries associated with the illegal drug trade, such as Vietnamese Slave Children growing cannabis, yet he refuses to reform the law and finally put an end to this evil trade. He’s a cunt.

Technically, all these Conservatives who are coming out about their prior drug usage could be barred entry to the USA, although of course, that is doubtful.

Don’t be fooled by all the Tory scumbags who are owning up to their past criminal activities involving drugs. They’re only coming clean because their consumption was evidently so prolific, they thought better to fess up before the newspapers reported it. Vile creatures.

Politicians only support drug law reform after they leave office

Many politicians who supported prohibition while in power or leading their parties have since come out in support of reforming drug laws. Former Labour Drugs Minister, Bob Ainsworth, after leaving office said drugs should be legalised. He was slammed at the time by the then Labour leader, Ed Miliband, although Ed has since come out in favour of legalising cannabis.

Even that square-headed little Englander Nazi child of Thatcher, departed Tory leader, William Hague, has recently called for cannabis to be legalised.

The Tories are not interested in harm reduction they think they are above the law. They believe drug consumption is not for the plebs, only for the posh and over-privileged.

That said, the Tories might have inadvertently put some people off taking drugs. Nick Laver-Vincent, from Devon, told Feed The Birds: “I’m giving coke up, as it’s no longer cool.”

Michael Gove insists shipment to Brixham harbour is Daz Automatic, not cocaine.

Michael Gove insists that’s not coke.

Chris Bovey, writer and musician.

Chris Bovey is a businessman, writer, artist, musician and practical joker. He lives in Devon with his partner, two children and cat. You can follow him on Facebook or Twitter @ADHD_BadBoy.

1 reply
  1. Lucifer
    Lucifer says:

    Hypocrites. A prison system full of people convicted of non-violent drugs crimes, and meanwhile the professional politicians who want to keep them there are coke-heads.


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