Hangman's noose with Priti Patel MP and a cannabis plant.

Hangman's noose with Priti Patel MP and a cannabis plant.

By Chris Bovey

Boris Johnson has decided to go full-on batshit crazy with his new Cabinet, a ragbag bunch of right-wing Brexiteers, gammons and disgraced former Ministers.

Only the likes of Ann Widdecombe could make this grisly collection of misfits worse, but she’s defected to the Brexit Party.

BoJo’s new Cabinet has lurched to the far-right with many former Ministers on the more moderate wing of the Tory Party having been sacked or resigned. Even May and Thatcher had the sense to try to keep some balance in their Cabinets between different factions of their party.

Cabinet of mainly white public schoolboy right-wingers

His Cabinet is mainly male-dominated and over half didn’t go to state schools. Not to mention BoJo is our 20th Eton educated Prime Minister. The UK has only ever had six Labour Prime Ministers.

Two of the great offices of state have gone to people from ethnic minorities. I don’t really care what colour your skin is, it makes no difference if you hold extreme right-wing views.

Cannabis hating, homophobic death penalty supporting UK Home Secretary, Priti Patel.

BoJo’s homophobic, cannabis hating, death penalty supporting Tory Home Secretary, Priti Patel.

Possibly one of the biggest loons BoJo the Clown has installed in his government is our new Home Secretary, Priti Patel, a supporter of the death penalty. She previously had to resign her Ministerial position when it was revealed she was holding private secret meetings with Isreali government officials, businesspeople and a senior lobbyist without the knowledge of the Foreign Office.

Patel has since been over the media grabbing headlines with alt-right populist crap and dubious promises to be taken with a hefty pinch of salt.

She says she is going to recruit 20,000 new police officers, yet omits to say the Tories cut police numbers by 21,000 since they came into power or how they are going to find them. It goes without saying she hasn’t said how the Tories will pay for this, which is a standard scream from the Tory media whenever the Labour Party announces it would like to put more money into failing public services people want to see improved.

Terrifying

She’s also said she wants criminals to be terrified of the police. I think everyone in this country should be terrified of this spine-chilling monster.

Is she suggesting today’s’ criminals are not terrified of the police? Despite the savage cuts to the police, generally, most criminals do not want to get caught. Being arrested, dragged through the courts, getting fined, forced to do a community work order or getting banged up isn’t much fun.

The only criminals I know of who shouldn’t be terrified of getting caught by the police are Tory MPs who illegally overspend spending limits in elections. In the General Election of 2015 when Cameron unexpectedly managed to remain in power with a small Parliamentary majority, a number of his MPs overspent legal limits on campaign funding. These Tory MPs were never prosecuted despite overwhelming evidence they had broken the law.

Yawn, yet another tough stance on drugs

Patel also expressed her desire for a tough stance on drugs, saying cannabis users should not be overlooked by police.

“Any form of drug use,” she said. “You don’t turn a blind eye to it at all. It has a corrosive impact on people and communities.”

That is you don’t turn a blind eye unless it’s one of your Tory collages who have admitted to breaking the law with not only cannabis usage, but also Class A drugs. Her boss has admitted to having a go on the Bolivian Marching Powder and fellow right-wing Cabinet nutjob, Michael Gove, revealed he hosted cocaine-fuelled parties after condemning drug use in columns he wrote for the Times newspaper.

BoJo’s new Home Secretary has soon made it clear the Tories are not going to be reforming cannabis laws. One of the few Ministers to keep their job in Johnson’s administration was Victoria Atkins, the Drug’s Minister whose husband heads the largest indoor cannabis grow in Europe, making the UK the worlds largest exporter of legal medical weed.

The Home Office that Patel is now in charge of shall, of course, want to continue to protect the Tory Party Criminal Gang Mafia’s monopoly of the legal British marijuana trade.

While at the same time still spouting the same old lie that cannabis has no medicinal value while their Tory cronies are making millions from legally growing it because the Home Office game them a license to do so.

Supporter of May’s hostile environment

Patel’s own Gujarati Indian parents migrated to the UK in the 1960s from Uganda. This did not stop her from supporting Theresa May’s hostile environment to immigrants which resulted in an increase in hate crime and the Windrush scandal.

By backing May’s hostile environment policies that were in the Immigration Bills of 2014 and 2016, such as work, rent and bank account checks, all of which led to members of the Windrush generation being wrongfully told they had no lawful right to live and work in the UK.

Her vileness does not stop there, she has voted for a stricter asylum system, stronger enforcement of immigration rules and against banning the detention of pregnant women in immigration jails. The Conservative MP for Witham also has a history of supporting the death penalty and voting against equal rights for same-sex couples.

Advocacy Director, Clare Collier, from the human rights group Liberty, said: “Priti Patel is a politician with a consistent record of voting against basic human rights protections. For her to be put in charge of the Home Office is extremely concerning.”

Mad and dangerous

Like her boss, the woman is mad and dangerous. We certainly will not be seeing any liberalisation of cannabis laws while this evil bitch is in charge of the Home Office, the only drug use she will be turning a blind eye to is the copious amounts of cocaine hoovered up by her Tory colleagues.

The Tory/ DUP’s working majority in the House of Commons was reduced this week to one after the Liberal Democrats gained a seat from the Conservatives in the recent Brecon and Radnorshire by-election. With rumours of Tory MPs prepared to bring down the government, hopefully, Bojo the Clown and his gang of right-wing sociopaths will be replaced by a more progressive liberal government that is more open to a sensible discussion on the UK’s archaic drug laws.


Chris Bovey, writer and musician.

Chris Bovey is a businessman, writer, artist, musician and practical joker. He lives in Devon with his partner, two children and cat. You can follow him on Facebook or Twitter @_dr_dremp.

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