Union Jack flag and EU flag superimposed onto the British Houses of Parliament.

Union Jack flag and EU flag superimposed onto the British Houses of Parliament.

By Chris Bovey

As the clock ticks toward the dystopian morass of a ‘no deal’ Brexit, it’s clear there are enough MPs in the House of Commons for an emergency government to stop it.

Unfortunately, they cannot agree who will lead such a government, even though it would only be a temporary one until the Brexit mess is sorted.

Jeremy Corbyn has put himself forward as that person, which personally I have no problem with, but unfortunately, there are others who do.

Never in my 46 years on this planet would I have believed I’d see Conservatives MPs threatening to bring down a Conservative government for the greater good of the country. A number of Tory MPs are actually prepared to take down Boris Johnson to install a temporary caretaker government, because they know how bad Brexit will be for the UK.

In the 1990s, John Major once managed to keep his Euro-rebel MPs in line by threatening to call a confidence motion.

Uncharted territory

This is uncharted territory. The problem is while some Tory MPs are prepared to vote against Boris Johnson they cannot quite bring themselves to vote for Jeremy Corbyn to lead a National Unity Government.

They are however prepared to vote for a senior MP respected across the political divides by all parties such as the Mother and Fathers of the House, Harriot Harman and Kenneth Clarke. They have indicated they would be prepared to do so.

This is a massive step! Tory MPs suggesting they would bring down their own government to stop the country taking a course of action they know would be very damaging in both the short and long term is unheard of in modern times.

Now I personally couldn’t give a fuck who leads a National Unity Government for a few months in order to extend Brexit and call a General Election after a People’s Vote.

Alan Hope, leader of the Monster Raving Loony Party on Brexit.

Alan Hope, leader of the Monster Raving Loony Party could lead a National Unity Government, although he’d have to win the forthcoming Sheffield Hallam by-election, as only an elected Member of Parliament can hold the Office of British Prime Minister.

They could put Alan Hope, leader of the Monster Raving Looney Party, in to head such a government for all I care, just as long as they stop the fucking thing.

National Unity Government

While it might seem eminently sensible the leader of the second-largest party in the Commons should head such a government, Corbyn doesn’t have the support of potential Tory MPs who are willing to join opposition parties in a vote of no confidence.

My own MP, Dr Sarah Wollaston, who recently defected from the Tories to join the Liberal Democrats said she could live with a Corbyn government on a temporary basis as the only mechanism to stop ‘no deal’, even though she said she had no confidence in the Labour leader.

The problem she pointed out is her former colleagues in the Conservative Party who are willing to support a National Unity Government to stop BoJo the clown recklessly crashing us out of the EU at the end of October are not willing to put Jeremy Corbyn in as Prime Minister.

As a former Conservative MP, Dr Wollaston is far more likely to know the thinkings of her former colleagues than me or anybody else.

It’s the Tories that won’t work with Corbyn

Labour has been spinning the lie that it is all the Lib Dems fault, but it simply isn’t. How can it be Jo Swinson’s fault if Conservative MPs are willing to overthrow Boris Johnson to form a National Unity Government, but not one that Corbyn is in charge of?

Labour have shown themselves to be pusillanimous in only considering the prospect of a National Unity Government if Jeremy Corbyn is the leader. There needs to be some leeway on both sides. Asking governing Tory MPs to vote against their own government in a No-Confidence Motion is a big ask, so why cannot we have some wiggle room from Labour?

Why should Labour care who leads such a government whose only purpose is to stop a ‘no deal’ Brexit and call an election? There is going to be a General Election in the near future anyway. This will be either shortly after Halloween, if BoJo the Clown gets his way by crashing us out of the EU with ‘no deal’ or alternatively early next year if they manage to pull off a National Unity Government that could even be led by a Labour MP, putting a Labour Prime Minister into Downing Street for the first time in nearly a decade.

Brexit chaos

I cannot see the Conservatives doing very well in any election if the conclusion of the Brexit fiasco is we spent billions of pounds preparing for something that we ultimately dropped because it was a shit idea.

We’ve already seen the UK economy contract; our currency plummet, businesses leave the UK, jobs lost, all as a direct result of Brexit. Before Brexit the British economy was the fastest growing in the developed world, it’s gone from fastest to slowest and now recession fears as the UK economy shrinks on the back of Brexit chaos.

Again, that’s hardly going to be a vote winner for the Tories and if we don’t leave the EU then they will see a lot of their vote syphon off to the Brexit Party, as there is still a minority of simpletons in Britain who want to see us crash out of the EU, no matter what damage it does to our nation.

‘No Deal’ Brexit

The issue of a ‘No Deal Brexit’ seems to have become the only issue that the slimy Tories can enunciate. They keep reiterating that of course they really want a deal, but then in the same breath they parrot the old, tired and hackneyed memes about being ready for a ‘no deal’.

This guff started life when all the Tory right-wing fanatics started getting exercised about the negotiators ‘taking ‘no deal’ off the table’ during the Withdrawal Agreement talks.

A lot of useless, clueless, inexperienced career politicians started wittering on about their business and deal-making experience, saying how it is always necessary to walk away from any negotiations if they aren’t going the way you want.

Think this through for a second. Who is going to be hurt by a ‘no deal’ outcome of our leaving the EU? It isn’t the EU that’s for sure. OK, they will experience some short-term inconvenience, but it is the UK that will feel the real pain as our imports dry up, our lorries can’t get across the Channel, our national security is compromised because we no longer share in the Europol agreements, our farmers cannot sell their lamb, I could go on, and on, and on.

People with experience of business and commerce are all telling BoJo, the Ego, that a ‘no deal’ outcome is national suicide, but of course the poisoned warthog knows better, because his personality challenged adviser has told him so.

Shotgun

Understand this. Sticking to the ‘no deal’ endgame is akin to sticking a shotgun in your mouth and then telling the person on the other side of the argument that you will pull the trigger if he doesn’t give you what you want. It is that dumb, but it has become a mantra and an article of faith for all the useless Tories.

Time is running short, if I had magical powers of persuasion, I would ask Tory MPs to make one more giant leap and get behind Corbyn as caretaker P.M., yet they are not prepared to do that, so the onus is now on Labour to also make a compromise, by putting Harriot Harmen, a Labour MP, in charge of a temporary National Unity Government to fix the Brexit mess the Tories have made.

Once that is done they will have their chance to see if the country will elect enough Labour MPs for them to form a government. Problem solved!

Boris Johnson as Pennywise evil clown meme with words We’ve been enemies of the people We’re now collaborators Well, fuck you You’re not my prime minister Your legitimacy is nonexistent!

This clown is not my Prime Minister.


Chris Bovey, writer and musician.

Chris Bovey is a businessman, writer, artist, musician and practical joker. He lives in Devon with his partner, two children and cat. You can follow him on Facebook or Twitter @_dr_dremp.

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