NewsWritten By Chris Bovey

May 13, 2018

West Yorkshire Police polish tiny turds

By Richard Shrubb

West Yorkshire Police jubilantly posted an article on Facebook last week that they’d busted someone for about a joint’s worth of weed. They were a little unamused at the response of the cannabis community and threatened to arrest someone for making a derogatory comment about their prize seizure.

Violent crime and sexual offences have gone through the roof in West Yorkshire, so it seems the desperate police force is polishing tiny turds to show they can actually do their job.

As a long time journalist, I have come to the conclusion that public relations officers in the public service make shit shiny for a living – turd polishing. It seems, in this case, the West Yorkshire Police Chief Turd Polisher is showing off the tiny turds they have polished in the hope people aren’t going to notice that criminals with a few more brain cells than their officers are getting away with whatever they please.

Drugs bust of the century

Last week West Yorkshire Police announced to some fanfare that they had busted a guy with less than £2 of weed. The Facebook post written by Police Inspector Martin Moizerst said “**Cannabis Seized** PCSO 687 Ian Campbell and PCSO 882 Ben Hughes attended Walton Colliery nature park and seized a small quantity of Cannabis from a young man who was parked up alone.”

My oh my, really taking down the kingpins aren’t we? I’m sure the people of West Yorkshire will sleep well in their beds, knowing a bottom rung stoner has been busted as opposed to one of the drugs gangs who use violence to scare people into paying their debts.

The comments weren’t exactly high in praise. One guy said, “What a clown. Hope you manage to nail Pablo Escobar this afternoon.

It got a little feisty from there. “Wow that’s put a dent in the war on drugs”, to which someone responded, “Cartels are all goin fkn mental

Cartels are all goin fkn mental
Comment left on the Facebook page of West Yorkshire Police.

The Turd Polisher in Chief who proudly posted the drug bust of the day didn’t see the funny side and threatened to arrest the commenters:I would like to remind everyone that this is a police page and whatever your thoughts on one of my officers seizing drugs in the community, being insulting, abusive or offensive can and will result in a prosecution under the Malicious Communications Act 1988.

Inspector Martin Moizers threatens to arrest anyone who is critical of the police on their Facebook page.
West Yorkshire police have stuck their head in the turd by blocking the embedded code to their post, you can still see it by clicking here.

I smell something rotten

Crime in West Yorkshire is getting out of control. On the 27th April this year the Huddersfield Daily Examiner reported, “Incidents of violence against a person rose by 40% in West Yorkshire 2017 – 14,771 more than the previous year. The figures show that in total over 30,000 more crimes were recorded in the region – rising by over a tenth. The force has also seen reports of sexual offences soar in the past year with a 35% rise in reports between 2016 and 2017, again one of the biggest rises recorded in the country and that’s a total of 7,697 sexual offences.”

Without delving too much into the figures, liberal-minded people may well believe that the huge austerity cuts coming from the morally bankrupted Tory Party in government are responsible. They are after all intent on destroying the state so their billionaire mates can save a few quid in taxes.

Arresting someone and seizing their weed takes a lot of time. Police will have to fill out paperwork and be off the streets for a good hour after doing something like this. Can you smell something rotten? This suggests that the police are admitting to their own incompetence by bragging about an insignificant weed bust when they haven’t the ability (through resources, brains, and the rest) to tackle the real problems they are facing.

You can hear the West Yorkshire Police Communications Team meeting after the news was published that they are being overwhelmed. Turd Polisher in Chief to Deputy Turd Polisher: “Child rapists and violent thugs are getting away with it – let’s bust someone with a joint in their pocket to hide our inability to tackle the real problems!

The war on drugs has failed. We just ask that the police protect and serve the public by taking down the child rapists, wife beaters and violent criminals who make our society unsafe – not a guy who had spliff’s worth of pot in the nature park.


Richard Shrubb

Richard is a marijuana, water sports and electric vehicles writer based in Dorchester, Dorset. Living in Prince Charles model housing estate, Poundbury, he is an avowed republican, community and Labour Party activist. Visit his website at www.richardshrubb.com for more about what he does.