Theresa May, making a hash of Brexit with EU and Union Jack flags.

Theresa May, making a hash of Brexit with EU and Union Jack flags.

By Chris Bovey

For the last few years, I’ve been following the Brexit shambles since day one. Virtually everything I predicted is happening, except it’s an even bigger clusterfuck than even I anticipated.

So who do we blame for this mess? Certainly, Dodgy Dave the Pig Fucker has to take some responsibility. He called the referendum to stop the racist bigot vote going to UKIP, potentially splitting the vote of right-wing thickos letting Labour and Lib Dems either hold seats or make gains in our bizarre undemocratic electoral system.

Dave didn’t like sharing power with the Liberal Democrats, they stopped the Tories from introducing the Snoopers Charter, abolishing the Human Rights Act and kept on insisting the environment should be at the heart of government.

Using scaremongering tactics, he managed to win both the Scottish independence referendum and the Alternative Vote referendum, but those tactics didn’t work in the Brexit vote. He didn’t bank on losing, which is why I’m reliably informed the government had made zero preparation for the event of a win for the Leave campaign.

No wonder he fucked off, he knew the Brexit pink unicorns promised by the fraudulent Leave campaign were not deliverable, as an already wealthy former PM, even in the event of the most catastrophic of Brexits, leaving without a deal, he need not worry about his income stream.

May did not understand the EU when she triggered Brexit

Chris Bovey at the anti-Brexit march, London, 23/03/2019

Chris Bovey with an anti Brexit protester from Yorkshire at the London March on 23rd March, 2019.

Enter Theresa May, who was not a good Home Secretary, she created the ‘hostile environment’ that lead to the Windrush Scandal and tried to alter the findings of a report into drugs commissioned by the Lib Dems during the Coalition, because she didn’t like the conclusions.

Former UK ambassador to the EU, Ivan Rogers, claimed the PM’s negotiating strategy was doomed to fail from the beginning. According to Mr Rogers, Theresa May ‘did not understand EU when she triggered Brexit’.

I voted to Remain, as I’ve worked in the field of importing and exporting for a couple of decades, I understand how the Single Market and Customs Union work, which is fairly basic stuff you learn in the first few weeks of a-level economics.

Sadly, the vicar’s daughter’s second class BA degree in geography was not of much help for her to understand the finer intricates of the workings of the European Union.

She triggered Article 50 without a clue what she was doing. Ministers even more stupid than her, which is quite a feat in itself, claimed it would be the easiest trade deal in the world and Britain held all the strong playing cards, not the EU.

Many people warned our arrogant PM of such problems, but she embraced the far-right loonies that have taken over the Conservative Party, so much so that three Tory MPs have resigned the Tory whip, including my own, Dr Sarah Wollason; I like to think she was educated by my constant bombardment of e-mails explaining why Brexit cannot work.

Brexit threatens our economy, jobs, travel rights, free healthcare in Europe, workers’ rights and human rights to name but a few. Everything the Brexit campaigners promised turned out to be false.

I like to consider myself fairly clued up about the EU, I always knew the £350 million a week for the NHS was a lie, but I’m happy to admit before the referendum I’d never heard of the bank passporting rights the City of London is to lose to Paris or that Brexit would cost the financial sector up to 75,000 jobs. I’d certainly never heard of Euratom – the EU’s atomic energy agency that will disrupt the inward flow of isotopes used for cancer treatment and put thousands of patients “at risk” of delays to treatment.

Project Fear becomes Project Reality

Cartoon of Margaret Thatcher with caption: "Even Thatcher knew when to fuck off!".They talk about Project Fear, it’s Project Fucking Reality … and it’s worse than the most pessimistic of doom-mongers predicted before the referendum.

The rabid Brexiters like to talk about the will of the people and the 17 million who voted for it, completely ignoring the fact every opinion poll now is giving Remain a strong lead, because people have changed their minds and voter demographics have changed, i.e., over one million older people who were more likely to have voted for Brexit have been replaced by new younger voters, who are more inclined to wish to remain in the EU. It’s their future that will be worst affected by Brexit, we owe them a People’s Vote on the final deal. Naturally, they are resisting this, as they know they would lose … not to hold a vote so you can impose a minority opinion of a ragbag of racists, bigots and morons, is not a democracy, it’s the polar opposite.

Theresa May has to take the blame, as U.S. President Harry S. Truman famously said: “The buck stops here.” Not so in the case of Theresa May, she’s done what she always does, blamed everyone else and not accepted a shred of responsibility for her incompetence.

Brexit loonies

As a Brit, I say May and her fellow Brexit loonies have brought disgrace on this country. I’m fed up of explaining to my European colleagues that not every person in the UK is a dim-witted thicko. They’re fed up of Brexit and hearing about it, I know the feeling, I expect every fucking person in Europe knows the feeling, but we must not let our guard down so the Tories sleepwalk us into a blind Brexit, because nobody can be arsed to keep telling them what incompetent fools they are.

My German friend, Nic Dro, summed up May and Brexit, she sent me a summary of what she overheard her boss saying to one of his colleagues: “Scared of Brexit? Me? Wait a minute, this bitch of so-called leader has three bloody years of preparation and comes up with what exactly? A sad excuse of a proposal that won’t get any better, even if she keeps presenting it again and again. What an insult to anyone’s intelligence. She is an embarrassment. If you have three years to come up with a solution and you came up to me with this crap, I’d kick your ass out of the company. Scared of Brexit? I am so annoyed by it, I cannot bear to listen to it. What kind of idiots let themselves being ruled by such a government? Monkeys?

I share his sentiments. Theresa May, I know you don’t read this blog, but I’ll say it anyway: “You are not up to the job, please just fuck off, tour the world doing after dinner speaks for idiots that would pay good money to listen to you, anything, maybe John Major can find you a job at the circus, I don’t care … just fuck off and go!”


Chris Bovey, writer and musician.

Chris Bovey is a businessman, writer, artist, musician and practical joker. He lives in Devon with his partner, two children and cat. You can follow him on Facebook or Twitter @_dr_dremp.

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