By Chris Bovey

Devon and Cornwall are set to become an increasing point of contention between London and Brussels during Brexit negotiations as demands grow from the French to take back the southwestern peninsula after geologists discovered it is part of France.

Researchers at the University of Plymouth have discovered that Britain was formed 400 million years ago from the collision of three land masses, rather than two, as has long been believed.

The bulk of England, Scotland and Wales still comes from the ancient continental collisions of lands known as Avalonia and Laurentia, however, Devon and Cornwall originate elsewhere from France.

Analysis has proven rocks in Devon and Cornwall were indistinguishable from rocks in France.

Cornwall, which is the second poorest region in Northern Europe voted to leave the EU, despite the fact it receives massive amounts of funding from Europe.

A spokesman for President Macron said, “I want Devon and Cornwall to be French, I think it’s ours.”

The French demands have outraged Tory Euro-sceptics who fear Theresa May might cave in and hand over the southwestern peninsula to France, in a desperate bid to get a deal from Brussels in the Brexit negotiations.

The British government has denied it has any plans to give up territorial sovereignty of any parts of the Westcountry to France, but didn’t rule out a bilateral agreement on joint-control with the French over Devon and Cornwall’s local County Councils.

Fish Whiting, from Totnes in Devon, one of only two areas in Devon and Cornwall to vote Remain said: “That’s a great idea, I love cheese plus booze and fags will be cheaper. Proud to be French, in fact, I might change my name to Poisson.”

Chris Bovey and Fish Whiting.

Devonians Chris Bovey and Fish Whiting celebrate the prospect of retaining their EU citizenship by being annexed by the French.


Chris Bovey, writer and musician.

Chris Bovey is a businessman, writer, musician and practical joker. He lives in Devon with his partner, two children and cat.

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