UK Prime Minister, Borish Johnson, smoking a bong.

UK Prime Minister, Borish Johnson, smoking a bong.

By Chris Bovey

Cannabis consumers in Britain were left disappointed after the PM’s support for a crowdfunder for a Brexit bong failed to gain traction.

Boris Johnson’s suggestion the public could chip in to fund a Bong for Brexit sadly hasn’t gotten off to a flying start.

The House of Commons Commission decided on Monday they couldn’t justify spending £500,000 of taxpayers’ money to fill a few bongs.

An amendment to the PM’s Brexit bill, which would have required a very expensive bong on Brexit day, to cope with the stress of the country committing an act of national suicide, was not selected for a vote in the House of Commons.

“We’re working up a plan so people can bung a bob for a Brexit bong, because there are some people who want to,” Mr Johnson told BBC Breakfast “and that is expensive, so obviously we don’t want to pay for it, so we’re looking at whether the public can fund it.”

The PM’s official spokesman said there was not a “specific government fund” to meet the costs, but added: “If the public wants to spark up a big fucking bong for Brexit and the money is raised, then that is great.

“We will make sure that whatever happens – January 31st is properly marked by getting seriously stoned. It is a significant moment in our history that we will want to forget very fast.”

NORML UK cannabis protest outside London's Parliament.

Cannabis group, NORML UK, campaigning to reform UK cannabis laws outside Parliament in London.

The House of Commons Commission, which manages the parliamentary estate, said the extra spending could not be justified, but it would listen to MPs on the matter.

Nearly all of the 24 appeals on the crowdfunding site GoFundMe have received no donations at all, with the most successful fetching just £215.

Expensive weed

Critics blasted the extraordinarily high cost of the weed for the failure of the bong crowdfunder.

The huge expense of the weed, estimated to be in the region of £500,000, is due to the Home Office’s insistence it would not grant a license to anyone to consume cannabis on Brexit day, unless it is sourced from British Sugar or GW Pharma. Both companies have licenses to legally grow and supply cannabis in the UK, since British Sugar is headed by former Tory Drugs Minister, Victoria Atkins’ husband and Theresa May’s husband’s investment company has a 22% share in GW Pharma.

A Home Office spokesman said: “Cannabis is a gateway drug that will turn you into a crack addict after just one toke and have you mugging old ladies, unless it is Tory cannabis, grown by our political donors, in which case it’s fine.

“While we are giving this Brexit bong fundraiser our full backing, we must stress any cannabis consumed in the bong has to come from a licensed seller that has the full permissions required to legally to grow and supply cannabis in the UK.”

Brexit supporter, Barry Shortplanks, from Luton, was extremely disappointed to learn the government wouldn’t waive strict Home Office licensing rules governing the cultivation, supply and consumption of cannabis for Brexit day.

“My Uncle Dave could have got them an ounce of Super Skunk for £200, I’ve no idea why it’s so expensive, it must be the EU’s fault.”

Chris Bovey, writer and musician.

Chris Bovey is a businessman, writer, artist, musician and practical joker. He lives in Devon with his partner, two children and cat. You can follow him on Facebook or Twitter @ADHD_BadBoy.

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