EU flag with chemtrails.

EU flag with chemtrails.

By Chris Bovey

The level of ignorance amongst Brexit voters never ceases to outstand me with their ill-informed opinions about the workings of the EU.

On one side I hear people calling it a communist dictatorship, on the other they say it is a fascist dictatorship. The EU is of course neither and communism and fascism are polar opposites. The understanding of political ideology is not one of the average Brexit supporter’s strong points.

They come from a mixed bag of deluded right-wingers, far-left supporters (Lexiters) and conspiracy theorists.

The nonsense I see on my Facebook feed from Brexiters beggars belief, but one post stood out that really took the biscuit.

Will Brexit help stop chemtrails? Facebook comment.

Brextard thinks leaving the EU will stop imaginary chemtrails in the sky.

Someone voted for Brexit because they believe in fucking chemtrails! The economy of this country is about to be destroyed, hundreds of thousands of jobs lost, the loss of our European rights such as freedom of movement and stifling opportunity for my children’s generation, the generation that least wants it – because someone is afraid of condensation.

Chemtrail believers are a special kind of stupid. For those who do not know about the chemtrail hoax, it’s a theory the white trails left behind by some aircraft are some kind of secret government spraying programme to drop chemicals on the entire population for reasons unknown.

A few years ago, I had my 15 minutes of fame (maybe more) when I proved how gullible people who believe in chemtrails are. While on a flight back to the UK that had just taken off from Buenos Aires, Argentina, there was an emergency situation where the pilot made the decision to make an emergency landing in Sao Paulo airport, as he didn’t want to fly a plane across the Atlantic Ocean with an unidentified fault.

I parted from my Swedish colleague who was in Business class to my seat in cattle class, as I’m too tight to pay for the fancy seats in the front. A sleeping pill, a Valium and some booze works for me and is a lot cheaper. I happened to be in the seat next to the wing, where the pilot had to dump the fuel to lower the landing weight for a safe landing in Brazil. I took some footage and uploaded it to Facebook for a laugh with the caption “What the fuck are they spraying?”, as I knew I had chemtrail believers on my friend list.

They took the bait, the video went viral with to date nearly 3.4 million views and tens of thousands of shares. I also falsely claimed to be arrested upon arrival at Heathrow Airport by Military Police (they don’t have Military Police in British airports) and said they confiscated my iPhone, despite the fact the footage was already going viral online. This led to friend requests from all around the world from Conspiracy Theorists, some of whom are still on my friend list.

Furthermore, I was inundated with messages from people who run conspiracy websites that ultimately led to me giving a live interview on David Icke’s internet radio station on the Richie Allen Show, which apparently has an audience of 40,000 listeners. I took this opportunity to come clean about the prank and basically told the radio presenter he was an idiot for falling for such an obvious hoax.

David Icke is the looney who claims the world is run by shape shifting lizards and the Moon is, in fact, a spaceship. He makes a lot of money selling horseshit to the gullible.

This illustration is from a David Icke book explaining how the lizard people intend to split up Europe and abolish the nation state.

Illustration from a David Icke book explaining how reptilians in the EU want to abolish the nation state.

An illustration from a David Icke book explaining how the lizard people intend to divvy up Europe and abolish the nation state as we know it.

Respected conspiracy debunking website, Metabunk, soon discovered the truth as there is only one flight a day from Argentina to the UK and they noticed on British Airway’s website it had been diverted to Brazil which they knew would have forced the pilot to jettison the fuel for a safe landing.

Vice picked up on the story, published on all their sites and translated into several languages, the story will never go away, even now the video is still going viral and I get contacted from chemtrail believers asking me what plane it was, where was I going, etc.,

Chris Bovey vs Austin Bennett

Last year I fooled a Trump supporting Republican candidate for the Californian Senate, Austin Bennett, a chemtrail believer who also promotes all sorts of conspiracy bollocks, such as vaccines are dangerous and part of some plan by an elite group they refer to as the New World Order (NWO), as part of a programme to make us ill and somehow depopulate the planet.

I do not believe the NWO exists, however, if they do, then I should say immunising people against potentially fatal diseases would be a pretty shit way to depopulate the planet, so even if they do exist, we should not fear them as they are evidently utterly incompetent and stupid.

I was contacted by Austin Bennett who asked if I would do a live interview about my experience of being arrested for filming a chemtrail; I happily obliged, it was at around 5 pm his time at PST and 1 am my time in England, where I confess I’d had a few, as I didn’t think the interview would go ahead as someone left a comment saying “Don’t do it Austin, he’s a troll”, leaving a link to the US Vice article. So, assuming it was off, I went out and got pissed. Nearing last orders, I sent him a message to ask if we were still ready to go and to my surprise, a reply came back from Austin saying ‘yes’.

I headed home from the pub, opened up some Guinness, set up the webcam and proceeded to argue about the validity of the chemtrail theory with a Trump supporting moron who was standing for elected office to the Californian Senate in the USA, while drunk, just for added touch. I still came out better, despite my intoxicated state, Austen Bennett immediately deleted the interview, however, fortunately, one of my friends recorded it and uploaded it to Youtube. He tried to get Youtube to remove it on the grounds of Copyright violation, but they refused, so it’s still online …

It’s quite frightening the number of people who voted Brexit because they believe in daft EU conspiracy theories, they possibly tipped the balance of the vote, voting for Brexit because they believe the EU is some kind of undemocratic superstate that wants to inflict either communism or fascism on us.

The truth is the EU is democratic: EU Parliament – Approves EU laws – MEPs are DEMOCRATICALLY elected by the electorate of each EU country – The UK has 73 MEPs out of the 751 members Council of Ministers – Approves EU laws – Relevant minister of each DEMOCRATICALLY elected government attends – The UK has 13% of the weighted votes. EU commission – PROPOSES EU laws – 1 commissioner for each DEMOCRATICALLY elected government EU Council – Sets the general direction of the EU and discusses major international issues – Represented by the Prime Minister/President of each DEMOCRATICALLY elected government.

The irony is the Brexit moron who wrote that might get his way if we crash out of the EU without a deal. Diplomats in Brussels have claimed that a “no-deal” Brexit could have “disastrous consequences,” impacting routes, aviation safety and border security. The ERA has estimated that 1.8 million routes across Europe will be affected in the event of a no-deal Brexit.

Contrails explained

I spoke to Paul Forshaw, a conspiracy debunker, to briefly explain how aeorplane contrails are formed and why the chemtrail theory is a hoax:

“Chemtrails is a name given to the hoax surrounding persistent contrails, a phenomenon that has been known for 100 years, ever since high altitude flight was achieved. Their prevalence has grown alongside the increase in flights.

“The whole thing is centred around one central lie, ‘contrails dissipate quickly and anything else is a chemtrail.  This is easily disputed, as the appearance of persistent contrails was first noted 100 years ago, in 1919.

Contrails‘ –  the long white lines you see in the sky following aircraft have been observed for over a century, since the earliest days of manned flight, but their prevalence has grown with the increase of air travel.

“Exhaust contrails are cirrus clouds whose formation is induced by aeroplanes exhaust condensing and freezing, providing nucleation points onto which atmospheric humidity can deposit out on. In conditions where the air is only saturated, the trails will only last a short amount of time, but in supersaturated skies, the initial trail will continue to take on more humidity from the surrounding atmosphere, which in turn freezes and grows the trail.

Contrails not chemtrails from World Ward 2.

Photographic evidence of contrails from WWII.

“Contrails that last over 10 minutes are now designated as ‘Cirrus Homogenitus’ and can spread out due to wind shear (cirrus homomutatus) to form a deck of cloud often imperceptible to naturally occurring cirrus, although the reverse is often true where the observer believes in the chemtrail myth i.e. naturally occurring cirrus is confused with aircraft induced clouds.

“Chemtrails are an internet hoax and superstition which capitalises on the nescience and paranoia of confused angry people. The origins of the hoax is well known and it has developed almost beyond recognition since the late ’90s and today there are many different takes on it. The one constant is the misrepresentation of contrails.

Paul added that in the 25 years the chemtrail hoax has persisted, the only piece of evidence is: “that don’t look right to me.”

Chris Bovey, writer and musician.

Chris Bovey is a businessman, writer, artist, musician and practical joker. He lives in Devon with his partner, two children and cat. You can follow him on Facebook or Twitter @ADHD_BadBoy.

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