Photo of Xavier Battel with Boris Johnson's chair replaced with a tub of lard following his no show.

Photo of Xavier Battel with Boris Johnson's chair replaced with a tub of lard following his no show.

By Chris Bovey

Bo Jo the Clown has been in Luxembourg trying to sell his pink unicorns to the Prime Minister of the tiny landlocked Grand Duchy.

The pair met today for a meeting, with Bo Jo’s office claiming they are making great progress, despite the fact European Commission president, Jean-Claude Juncker said there has been no breakthrough.

Mr Johnson was booed by protesters who played the EU Anthem while chanting “Tell the truth, stop the coup”

This was too much for our chicken of a Prime Minister who only yesterday compared himself to the Incredible Hulk throwing off the shackles of the EU. Rather than the Incredible Hulk, he was the Incredible Sulk, cancelling his press conference with Luxembourg PM, Xavier Battel.

Guy Verhofstadt, the chief Brexit representative for the European parliament, tweeted that the Incredible Hulk comparison was “infantile”.

Mr Battel was not perturbed and carried on with the conference anyway, empty chairing BoJo the Clown.

“It’s on Mr Johnson, he holds the future of all UK citizens,” said Mr Battel who continued to the delight of the small crowd watching

“I think demonstrating is a right in a democracy and it is important to be able to exchange and to listen to each other. I wanted to thank Mr Johnson for the exchange that we had, for me it was important to listen to Prime Minister Johnson to listen to concrete proposals to avoid a ‘No Deal’ Brexit.

Photo of Xavier Bettel, Prime Minister of Luxembourg with EU flag in background at press conference.

Xavier Bettel, Prime Minister of Luxembourg.

“For Luxembourg, our position in regards to a deal has always been very clear. The first priority of any withdrawal agreement or declaration is the preservation of the Single Market.

“Second, we need a deal that protects the Good Friday Agreement and avoids a hard border on the Irish island at all costs

“The UK has always been an important ally and strategic partner of our country, but most importantly a close friend. The ties settling our people are strong and that won’t change with the Brexit, but our people need to know what is going to happen to them in six weeks time.

“They need clarity, they need certainty and they need stability. You can’t hold a future hostage for party political gains, so now it’s on Mr Johnson, he holds the future for all UK citizens and every EU citizen living in the UK in his hands. It’s his responsibility, your people, our people count on you, but the clock is ticking, use your time wisely,” concluded Mr Battel.

In stark contrast, Mr Battel, the Prime Minister of the tiny EU country showed himself to be a true statesman. He rebuked Johnson’s attempts to blame for the EU for the lack of progress by the British government.

“But I repeat, I hear a lot that I don’t read a lot. If they want to be able to discuss anything, we need it on the written side.

“I repeat, this Brexit, it’s not my choice.

“But don’t put the blame on us because now they don’t know how to get out of this situation they put themselves in. It’s not my choice”

Following the 2018 Luxembourg general election, he became the first openly gay Prime Minister in the world to be re-elected for a second term. We were already a fan of Xavier Battel here at Feed The Birds following his announcement last year that Luxembourg is to be the first European country to fully legalise recreational cannabis.

Chris Bovey, writer and musician.

Chris Bovey is a businessman, writer, artist, musician and practical joker. He lives in Devon with his partner, two children and cat. You can follow him on Facebook or Twitter @ADHD_BadBoy.

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