Church with cannabis leaf.

Church with cannabis leaf.

By Chris Bovey

Catholic Bishops of Yukon and British Columbia penned an open letter warning that while cannabis may now be legal in Canada, using it recreationally remains sinful.

The letter, posted online last month, was signed by the Archbishop of Vancouver along with the bishops of  New Westminster, Victoria, Prince George, Nelson, Whitehorse and Kamloops.

The letter which acknowledged there are legitimate therapeutic uses for cannabis providing it is not smoked, stated: “The mere fact that an activity is made legal by the government does not automatically mean that it is morally acceptable.”

When it comes to getting high for fun, the letter argues that Catholics should abstain.

Having sex with children is illegal and definitely not morally acceptable, but that didn’t stop thousands of kids being abused by dirty clergymen and then the Church trying to cover it up.

Painting of Jesus Christ smoking pot

Smoke a spliff or have sexual intercourse with a child. What would Jesus do?

The head of the Catholic Church, Pope Francis, has also come out strongly against drug use, arguing in 2014 that “the legalisation, even partial, of so-called ‘soft drugs’ — beyond being at least questionable from the legislative point of view — does not produce the desired results.”

The fact that cannabis was legal for thousands of years and only made illegal around 100 years ago is not explained.

As it happens, Catholic priests are more likely to be alcoholic than other men. Pope Francis likes to maintain the image of a reformer, yet he agrees with the Church’s traditional positions on other issues, such as abortion, artificial contraception and gay marriage. It is not clear whether Jesus turning water into wine was sinful.

Sex abuse and the Church

Sex abuse scandals have haunted his papacy, the Vatican earlier in the year announced it was reviving its anti-paedophile panel and Pope Francis came under fire for defending a Bishop in Chile accused of covering up the crimes of a paedophile priest.

The intervention comes after Canada became the first G7 country to legalise cannabis, but not without criticism from Canadian pot smokers who said they were not going to be morally lectured by a bunch of paedophiles when it comes to which forms of recreation are acceptable.

Slavery used to be legal and was justified by biblical teachings. Apartheid in South Africa was justified by passages in the bible and just about every war that has been fought over the centuries has been over religion.

Alcohol is a Christian sacrament (Latin. lit: sacre mentis: sacred mind, and it thus makes your mind more sacred), and having sex with children is God’s will, but cannabis is sinful? Why did the perfect and unchanging god create cannabis, just to change his unchanging mind about it later?

The Church should be minding its own business taking care of its paedophile problems before moralising to others.

I don't always get caught molesting little boys, but when I do, it's OK I'll just be transferred to a church near you.


Cannabis is sinful, as the allegedly perfect and unchanging God changed his perfect and unchanging mind about it, but …

Greg Bittman, Bishop of Nelson said the church also has concerns about the effects of drugs on the development of young people’s brains, along with the mixed message he believes kids are getting in the transition from a “just say no” world to one where the product is suddenly legal. He obviously isn’t aware of studies that show cannabis consumption in minors has gone down in US states where it’s been legalised.

As for being sexually abused as a child by a Catholic priest, this has detrimental life-long effects, far worse than consuming cannabis.

Buckfast Tonic Wine

In my neck of the woods in South Devon, in the rural South West of England, local Benedictine monks make the lethal Buckfast Tonic Wine at Buckfast Abbey, which is known for its extremely intoxicating properties, due to its high alcohol and caffeine content. In Scotland, Buckfast is associated with drinkers who are prone to committing anti-social behaviour when drunk, especially drinkers under 18-years-old.

Buckfast Tonic Wine (15% ABV) contains the caffeine equivalent of six cups of coffee and, among other things, accounted for 5,638 crimes in three years in a small region of Scotland.

To restate: “Cannabis is sinful apparently, but alcohol is a Christian sacrament (i.e., derived from the Latin “sacre” and “mentis;” to make your mind sacred) and the blood of Christ, and sexually abusing children is God’s will, but the unchanging and perfect God who allegedly created all things, including the cannabis plant, has apparently changed his unchanging and perfect mind about cannabis. The world’s largest and wealthiest Christian cult keeps adding more sins such as cannabis smoking and abortion. N.B. The Bible approves of killing children and pregnant women if they’re unbelievers. Isn’t God wonderful!”

Pic of a bottle of Buckfast Tonic Wine, brewed in Buckfast Abbey, South Devon, England.

Buckfast, it gets you fucked fast. Brewed by monks, drunk by punks!

Ultimately, it is nothing to do with the Church what plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the Earth shall be food for us. Seriously, I’m not going to stop enjoying getting high on a doobie because some dude in a ridiculous dress who believes in talking snakes tells me not to.

Religion should be kept out of politics and the Church should be more concerned with perverted priests fucking children than they should adults consuming a natural fucking plant.

All sins are forgivable for Christians including cannabis smoking, torture, murder, rape, child abuse and genocide, apart from the most serious sin of all which is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (whatever that means), and that sin can never be forgiven. I try to smoke as much cannabis as possible and to commit as much blasphemy as possible. It is my equivalent of Pascal’s Wager; I want to ensure that even if there is a Christian afterlife, I don’t end up in eternity with the Christian priesthood and their assorted religious fanatics.

Fuck the Holy Spirit: My get out of eternity with religious fanatics cards.

Fuck the Holy Ghost, I’m going to hell on a handcart.


Chris Bovey, writer and musician.

Chris Bovey is a businessman, writer, musician and practical joker. He lives in Devon with his partner, two children and cat.

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